The Civic Ceremony

I did say that this blog was not wholly dedicated to the flat. So, now that the flat is fully renovated, and we're kinda in the almost-final stages of furnishing (well, the big boys are done), there are other things to talk about.

Big & I are actually married "in the eyes of the law", albeit not so very much in the eyes of the in-law. As Big so very honestly (and un-romantically) puts it, we ROM-ed in May 2009 (2 weeks after Val) to get the flat. Make that to ensure we got our FULL entitled subsidies for the flat. As daddy said - make sure you get (from the government) all that you are entitled too.

Prepping for the civic ceremony, otherwise known as the ROM, was not an experience I'd care to re-live.

The date
1st, we had to consult the whole world for "auspicious dates", and naturally, everyone had their own little bit to say about this. We have two sets of parents, with 1 parent on either side with overly-inflated egos, who are frankly difficult to manage (and unlike difficult bosses you can't just quit on them). Consultation for the date actually delayed the entire process. Becos one set of parents (let's call them Set A) originally decided there was no need to consult a 3rd party for good dates. So this tricky business was left to the other side (Set B). Set B came back with some dates well within the timeline given to them (amazingly). And we were just about to move on to venues when - ta-dah! - surprise surprise - Set A suddenly decided they needed to consult too!

In the meantime, we were checking with some venues - some hotels, and one quiet quaint little cafe - on budget, set-up, menu what-have-you. We were also looking at the guest list. And then there was the issue of the JP.

Of cos, you can't confirm a venue without the date, or the confirmed number of guests, and of cos, you can't speak to the JP or register without a date either. Basically, nothing could move until we got the date.

Venue & guest list
The 2nd headache was the venue & guest list. It was relatively easy on my side. Big & I had agreed this would be a small private affair. So, my guest list included only immediate family, and one branch of the extended family whom I'm very close, and of cos, the gal gang. My parents were ok with that. Big wanted to invite one aunt whom he is very close to. This was veto-ed becos "you can't invite only one! How about the rest!" This caused major eye rolling in several departments. We figured it was a case of you-cannot-invite-your-side-of-the-family-if-you-don't-invite-mine. I think this was also when we realised it might be *our* wedding, but it was so out of our hands.

Now, the venue. We were about to speak with the cafe, when - ta-dah! - surprise surprise - Set A decided they had suggestions for venues. One of these was to have a garden party at his home (!!) and get his sister to cook (!!!!!) Big threw up his hands in despair at the amount of work that would have to go into getting the house ready for this. I plain refused to even consider it. Finally, for parental appeasement, we had to make a trip to another cafe (where we eventually held the ceremony) to try the food and recce the suitability of the place.

The JP
The issue with the JP, fortunately, did not give us as much headache as we thought it would. Out of courtesy, we had asked Set A if they had any preferences (read: friends, ex-colleagues etc) on whom we should invite to officiate. The indication was no. And thankfully, there was no last minute ta-dah for this. So, we went ahead to engage a friend of my parents. She is a sweet gentle very nice lady - Dr Esther Tan. Who mercifully kept the ceremony very short and to-the-point.

Now all these would have been bearable if I had not been running full-steam at work with an upcoming major Festival, and random media briefings thrown in for good measure. And if Big had not had HIS hands full at work too. In short, we were both stressed out in the office, and further frazzled by all the crap we had to deal with outside the office. And then there was Val's wedding to prepare for. With the logistics, and "boss" management we had to deal with for our own wedding, it just felt like yet another media event (that you wanted to get over and done with).

We were married the morning of the day after the Opening Ceremony of said Festival. At 11am, after 2 consecutive late nights of running media previews and opening shows. And without caffeine. With a very grouchy and exhausted bride. And a groom who nearly had a panic attack on that morning becos his mother insisted on a change of (his) attire at the last minute.

I am still amazed we actually made it through. But all the fuss and parental management doesn't bode well for the customary wedding ceremony and dinner next April. I already hear another series of ta-dahs!

p/s - Mothers expressed shock that the bride hadn't 1) gone for manicure/facial/whatever 2) done her hair at the salon 3) gone shopping for a nice new white dress. Um, the bride is just glad she actually made it there in one piece, sane, and with enough presence of mind to say the correct thing at the correct moment.